I’m falling, moving towards the pavement so fast yet I have thoughts arising figuring how to land. I put my arm out to somehow stop my face from crashing down first. I can’t extend my left arm. I see bone through the skin and blood. Is my arm broken? The thought of time seeming forever yet gravity happens quickly. Finally hit down, right arm down, neck tightens, but soon my cheek is embedded into the pavement my left arm plops lifeless. I can’t move. A wave of painful madness comes. Breathing incoherently and sporadic. Panic sets in. so much pain. Madness of pain. Blood coming from somewhere. I could feel the wetness spread under my head. I feel my cheek starting to get wet. Its moving quickly. What is bleeding? A pool forms underneath my head. I see it passing my eye. I can’t breathe through my nose. Coughing in an attempt to breathe through my nose. I taste blood. I don’t want to choke. More Madness. Excruciating madness bound pain. Okay, let me think. My reflection. Panic. Okay focus on your breath. I understand why people black out now. The mind cannot handle the pain all at once. The madness is out of control, don’t think about it. if I let it, I will be mentally disfigured for the rest of my life. Fear of going into madness threatens my existence. Focus on your breath. Still irradict. I breathe in blood and cough. Ugh, it hurts so much. Focus on your breathe. I begin to have a breathing rythym out of my mouth. The only way that is clear. My vision blurs. Waves form in the blood from my breathing rythym. Tilt my head so I don’t choke. I don’t want to choke. My mouth, breathing through my mouth. I see the blood travelling down the pavement. People are gathering. I try to see. I lose my rythym. Focus on your breath. My vision blurs. I must stay on my breath. The pain dissipates with the breathing. the sound of my breathing regulating. The cement ton of madness lifts suddenly. I feel only the gravity of my body melted into the pavement. The pebbles of the road digging into my cheek.
Have you ever been told that you are “too sensitive” or ” overly sensitive”? Do you enjoy quiet spaces more often than not? Do you enjoy more “alone” time than your friends and family? It’s like a big sigh of relief when you finally get home.
More than likely you are an Empath. This is one of the many special gifts in the world and should be seen as that, rather than a burden or just even “overly sensitive”. You can sense things on a deeper level than most and there are advantages to this when we are able to embrace this gift and hone in on it’s advantages.
First of all, if you are an Empath, start seeing this from a different perspective everyday. Start thinking that you have this superhuman ability and embrace how special you are. Being empathic is not the same as overly sensitive. Emapthic means that you can literally feel the energy of the world around you at an acute level. If you are in nature you feel relaxed which means that you feel the vibration of that nature around you. If you are around others, more than likely you can feel those, depressions, anxieties, and doubts. But instead of understanding that those vibrations are from your surroundings, you take it as being your own and then get confused. This is why it feels so good to be in your own energy at home. For some Empaths, your ability reaches farther. On some days you may feel somber or a bit sad and not understand why. This is because sometimes, you are able to feel what is happening in different parts of the world, if it’s a major tragedy such as earth quake, tsunami’s, or something where there is mass devastation. It also makes sense and is something to understand since we are all connected on a spiritual level.
So how do we hone in and sharpen this ability? How will it benefit us? We can simply be more aware and ask questions. So the awareness comes in when you notice when you are out and about and your energy starts to change. When you start to feel overwhelmed with your surroundings, this is probably when your empath self is kicking in. To your Self, ask, “Who does this belong to?” Notice how you feel when you ask this to your Self. You will probably notice that nervousness, anxiety, or other emotion dissipate somewhat. If you are with a friend and notice your Self feeling a little distorted, you can feel into this and empathize with your friend and this is how you can hone in on your gift and use it to help. Not from an ego standpoint but from one of compassion because you can actually feel what it feels like and agree, “it sucks”. This gift can help you understand emotions on a deeper level and create more understanding for what is happening in the world. These things can motivate you to help change the world in a positive way. Rather than looking at this gift as a burden, you can start asking questions, step in or out of the emotions you feel, and ask how can you help? You are an empath for a reason, you may have the ability to change the things around you. You have the ability to feel what others are feeling so that you may have compassion or help them in some way. Now that you know these little steps this may help separate things between you and the world just a bit to give you some breathing room and time to decifer what is really happening.
First and foremost I am a woman
I have an innate appreciation for the aesthetic
My eye is drawn to the beauty in all things
I have an inherent reverence for all life
My breath is an absolute dance with life’s ebbs and flows
I understand that with each step I take it becomes a sacred communication with the Earth below
I command respect from energies that surround me
And I bless everything I touch
I have a secret language not spoken but understood by nature
I see the rain as a baptism and stand in it fearlessly as I am cleansed
I see each part of my body as its own spell I accentuate
Adorning with jewels, tantillizing scents, or fashion
Afterall, I am a woman
I command the wind from my lips
And listen to the calls of the Mother
I praise and support my Sisters as we recall our Reign
We whisper our dreams onto butterfly wings
And make change for better things
My Compassion grows with every lesson
And my strength knows no bounds
I create life through passion
while pray safe passing for the dead
To my Ancestors I say
I am Woman , afterall
A Transition into Being
Note to Self: I will not die an unlived life!
I recently came across something I wanted to share while reading “I will not die an unlived life by Dawna Markova”. It reads:
Travelling from the known to unknown requires crossing an abyss of emptiness. We first experience disorientation and confusion. Then, if we are willing to cross the abyss in curious and playful wonder, we enter an expansive and untamed country that has its own rhythm. Time melts and thoughts become stories, music, poems, images, ideas. This is the intelligence of the heart, but by that I don’t mean just the seats of our emotions. I mean a vast range of receptive and connective abilities: intuition, innovation, wisdom, creativity, sensitivity, the aesthetic, qualitative and meaning making. It is here that we uncover our purpose and passion.
My deepest Gratitude,